There is a lot I need to figure out. I don’t know if I like it so much. I try to keep things straight so they make sense and not screw anything up, but lately I have not been able to make the correct choices it seems to even do so, as much as I want to it’s not going to happen. I have come to the determination that I can pretend that everything is fine even if everything is on fire and nothing is the way it’s supposed to be, I’m just not trying to let anyone think that there’s anything wrong or that there is a problem. I guess that’s just how I handle stress.

I knew today was going to be a good day for a reason! I just called and talked to the collage I want to go to! I have a meeting set up for tomorrow evening! I am so excited I have such a great feeling about it like I can just feel that it would be a move in the right direction. So here’s hoping! If I can do this and it all pans out I know things will be better and I will be doing what it is that I like and everything will just be a lot less stressful.

There is a lot I have to say, so much I need to get out but I can never find the right place to say it or the time because there is so much to say and think about.

Had to drive through the city for the past few days, Monday wasn’t bad then I realized on Tuesday that’s because it was a holiday so no traffic…. -_-;  it’s not that bad just a lot of traffic for the most part it takes me about fifteen minutes longer to get home that way so I might just take it from now on, might not have much choice in that regard which sucks! But I am going to get through this, come hell or high water and all the tsunami’s that ensue its going to get better.

It’s going to be a hard rest of the month and November is going to be a lot of catching up and trying to keep things pulled together and then I think once we hit December everything will be better I am praying for sooner but who knows, it just might not be in the plans for right now.

I am excited for this weekend, we are supposed to go to the farm and pick some pumpkins and there is a maze I think too and we’re doing a scarecrow and also we are going to Field of Screams in PA that should be a lot of fun too :D I am just excited to be able to be with friends and just pretend for a little while that things aren’t as screwed up as they really are.  

I’ll let you know on Friday how everything goes tomorrow :D I am so exited!

RAWR!!!! It doesn't matter how late or early I leave I still end up at work at the exact same time! So frustrating!!! Have not been able to sleep the past few nights, so I was up, dressed and wandering around this morning and whoa get this!! Left EARLY! and somehow still sat in a flipping jam this morning!! It didn't help that I really really had to pee too! I could leave my house at 8:15 and still get to work on time (ok so that stretching it a bit but meh) as if I left the house at 7:30. This is really highly frustrating! Why can't cars just move you know go! DRIVE PEOPLE!!! Grrr I just pray the traffic going home is not bad, it's smooth so I can jsut get home and go to bed!

So I have not been on this site for - ever and well thanks to recent events I can see that some places to post well not such a good idea, not safe anymore but I have been thinking of this site for a while and I think I am going to return and post all my random stuff here mainly b/c there is a lot of it and not everyone wants to read it and I don't think I have anyone that reads this anymore anyhow therefore SAFE!

So here is something I will leave with for this time:

My heart flutters with your touch

Your the one I am counting on when everything seems to tough

I know that with time everything will adjust

We can run away if we must

When your around it's all rainbows and butterflies

Will they be able to understand the compromise

With the past in the rear-view mirror we're off to make our own start

Never have to look back, speed along those railroad tracks